The Mindset of Organization by Woodruff Lisa

Author:Woodruff, Lisa
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1537105475
Publisher: LKW Enterprises, LLC
Published: 2016-08-18T04:00:00+00:00

Phase Three

Survival

My Transition from Accumulation to Survival

I grew up with a very idyllic childhood. Literally, nothing bad ever happened to me. I used to joke that I lived in a bubble, and I liked it that way. I wanted to keep the bubble, and for a long time, I did just that.

Overwhelm

Around 2004, the bubble started to show some serious cracks. During the 2004-2005 school year, I went to 110 school and doctors’ appointments for my children. None of these appointments were, "Oh, we just wanted you to come see the school play," or, "Oh, we're just going to have your child's regular checkup." Every single one of these 110 doctors’ and school appointments were for more testing, trying out a new medication, analyzing results, setting up an education plan, fighting for this or that, or getting more funding.

It was all hard work, analytical stuff. I told myself it wasn't a big deal. After all, I was working from home, so I had the time to do it. We still had a great income, the kids were in a great school, and I was going to fight for these kids and get everything that they needed done.

I had been told as a kid, "You can do anything you put your mind to," and I believed it. I still believe it to this day. I can't do everything at the same time, I've learned, but I can do anything I put my mind to.

The summer of 2005, I lost it. I just freaked out on my husband, so much so that he had to take the kids away. I went up to my bedroom, and that's when I counted and realized I'd been to 110 school and doctors’ visits.

I thought, "Well, no wonder I'm losing it. Who can go to meetings every third day where you're deciding your child's future and what they need? That is a lot to put on a person, right?"

My business was still going great financially, so there was no doctor too far, no school too expensive. We would just work harder.

At that time, one of the kids’ doctors said, "You're under a lot of pressure."

She’d been talking about antidepressants, and I said, "All right, which kid are we going to start on that?"

They said, "No, it's you who needs to be on an antidepressant."

And I said, "Me? Depressed? No, I'm not depressed."

They said, "Well, you're under a lot of stress. It's very overwhelming."

And I thought, "All right, I'll try it." So I started Lexapro around Christmastime. We were going home, and I took one of the pills.

Wrong Medicine. Wrong Time.

When we showed up at my parents’ house, I was walking, but I felt like I was floating above the room, looking down at myself saying, "Talk. You should talk, you're not talking."

My parents asked, "What's the matter with you?"

I said, "I'm fine." And I didn't talk the whole day.

Can you imagine? I talk all the time.

So I'm floating above myself, looking down, going, "Talk, talk," and I couldn't talk, so I never took that pill again.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.